Would you like to know a secret? 👀

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Dear Creatrix,

Yesterday was one of these days, where I found out about something that really blew my mind, and that I know is going to change a lot for me.

And I think it can do the same for you.

But first: How was your week? Did you make any new discoveries about yourself or the world? Would you like to share them with me?

I’d love to hear about them!

As you know, we’ve been working on first imagining our ideal family situations and then creating them in the CREATRIX School (Öffnet in neuem Fenster) over the last four weeks, and we’re closing this chapter on Monday, so we can open the next chapter with the next New Moon on Saturday, July 6th.

For the next 4 weeks, the topic will be: Believe!/PURPOSE - and I’m super excited about that.

Join the CREATRIX School (Öffnet in neuem Fenster)

https://verenaspilker.com/creatrix-purpose/ (Öffnet in neuem Fenster)

But as I’ve been working on the last lessons of the FAMILY chapter (Öffnet in neuem Fenster), and thinking about the conflicts that we all have to resolve, with family members, with ourselves and with friends and other people we love - as well as just random people we meet on the streets, a sentence came up:

“Thank you for showing me how not to be.”

Just try it for yourself. In any situation where you find yourself upset because of someone or because of something you did or didn’t do.

For example, I still occasionally struggle with my boundaries as my go to is always that I want to make other people happy, or I’m afraid of upsetting them when I say no to something because I have needs or wishes that might be different from what I am asked to do, or, in other words, I have trouble prioritizing and respecting myself.

As with everything, this is not an actual problem with or for the other people (and if it is, it’s theirs, not mine), but it is a problem in my mind. And so once I’ve said no, I cannot even enjoy the time I now have to do what I wanted, as I tend to feel guilty.

My colour for self (red) comes quite far towards the end of my Wheel of Colours (Öffnet in neuem Fenster), so I naturally prioritize other people’s needs over mine - and I know that this is almost impossible to understand for people with red at the beginning of their wheel, people who have a natural understanding of self.

In the past, when I was asked what I wanted to do, I would mentally connect to what the other person wanted, or all other people because that information is easier for me to access than my own wants or needs.

I cannot even know what I need or want until I investigate consciously, withdraw, take time for myself to find out and access that, but by now, I’ve learned some things about myself, that I know I need to feel well, so I learned to take time for that as well.

But it’s much easier for me, or my default setting, to go with what other people need or want - only that if I do just that, at the end of the day, I feel completely used up, exhausted, empty and unfulfilled - maybe some of you can relate.

It’s a beautiful quality and experience of the world though, and I’m happy about it because the well-being of the planet and of all is, in fact, much more important to me than my personal well-being, and I’m happy to make sacrifices for the well-being of all - but everything has to be in balance and especially in a world where most people are looking out for their personal interest more than for that of all - I had to learn to protect myself.

And for that reason, I’ve been taking measures to balance my needs and wishes and those of others because we all need to make sure we have what we need before we give to others - otherwise we are out of balance all the time and burn out - and for me, it still always took some effort to do this.

Using my new phrase: “Thank you for showing me how not to be.” changed that immediately.

Yesterday, when someone asked me something, I said what I needed, and then the so far inevitable ‘feeling bad’ set in, after. But when I said, “Thank you for showing me how not to be” to myself, I was immediately able to relax in my space and able to enjoy doing what I wanted to do.

When I imagine conflicts that I have or had with people, now, where the way they speak to me is upsetting to me (usually because they are acting for their personal interest and not the greatest good of all - something I will never understand because it always bites you in the a** - we are one and what’s good for all is always ultimately also what’s good for us as individuals ;) ), and I look at it saying: “Thank you for showing me how not to be.” in my mind, I can just move on.

It’s quite magical.

We have to remember that everything that happens in our reality, in our lives, is just for us.

It’s never about the other people. So, if we find ourselves in a conflict with someone else, and try to change them, or get upset with them, their words, their actions, we’re looking in the wrong direction.

We’re never actually upset about what the other person is doing or saying, we’re upset because we feel disempowered - just, investigate that for yourself next time you get upset.

When we're upset we feel disconnected from our centre and like we can’t assert ourselves - we're out of alignment with our highest self, and doubt ourselves.

So it is all in our minds. The invisible world of underlying beliefs and intentions is always at work and creates the actual results - our reality.

So if we want to change what we see - we have to change how we look at it.

And therefore, we will not come back into alignment and into our power by changing other people, but only by changing ourselves.

Other people are never the problem - we are.

Once we’ve resolved the problem within, it disappears on the outside as well.

And if that concept still seems abstract to you, join us in the CREATRIX School (Öffnet in neuem Fenster), where we practice creating our worlds, according to our needs and wishes and growing into the person we are really meant to be - for one whole year!

But today, get started with this sentence - it seems to be a magical key to help with finding alignment.

I feel like it brings us back into alignment with our highest self immediately and frees us from the distorted vision we have, or the blurred version of ourselves we see, because of the reality we learned to see with our eyes and not our hearts.

So this is the secret, I wanted to share with you today. 🌷

Use it! Try it!

And I’d love to hear how it goes! ❤️

Other than that, it seems to be yellow flower and dress season, we had a huge storm here last week with thunder and lightening producing the loudest BOOM I’ve ever heard and experienced. It must have been right above our house and was quite electrifying :)