I remember the outwardly good times, living in Chicago, working at a great company, with fantastic people, and getting paid way too much for basically being a constant learner. I was dropped in the deep end to run huge software projects and had a blast with the challenge. I had formed my own teams around things that interested me, just because nobody had said “no”. Like creating the first bottom-up innovation initiative. And spending hours each week brainstorming a super futuristic world with other super talented people. Fun times!

Yet, I was struggling. Each day started with a mandatory vanilla latte from Starbucks to get myself into work mode. Often times breakfast was a salad from Protein Bar (OMG those salads, it’s still the only thing I miss from the States) because it was the only food that didn’t make me queasy. Six hours of sleep, then daily standup, dozens of emails, meeting upon meeting (I do like them, admittedly), more emails, home, couch, exhaustion. A rat race.

Fast forward 3.5 years. It’s 2.30 in the morning while I’m writing this email. I’ve been observing myself all day to see when the mood for writing strikes. No pressure, just observing. Same with the topic. As every day, I have the intention of telling y’all something interesting, insightful, with a nice kick of positive energy. I just never know what it is, but I do know it will come, it always does. I sleep when I’m tired, which lately has included a “nap” from 9 pm to midnight 🤷🏼‍♀️. It’s the complete opposite of my previous life. Everything is at maximum uncertainty and maximum flow. Outwardly it seems like I’m mostly chilling, but inwardly, so much is processing in my brain. So when these bursts of creative energy strike, my efficiency to get things done is off the charts. Truly fun times!

As for the not so fun things, like sorting documents or cleaning, there are three trusted hacks. One, time pressure (deadlines make things flow pretty effortlessly for me. This is highly specific to my personality type and might not apply to you.). Two, vividly imagining the beautiful outcomes (this imagination also only hits on certain days, so when it does, everything else will have to wait). Or three, anger. Yep. It’s something that all of us actually encounter pretty regularly. For one, if you’re on your path to inner authenticity, you’re probably going through a growth cycle, and anger is an unavoidable part of that. Or you just watched the news. Either way, taking that sharp, powerful energy and directing it at the “hard things” in your life is a very satisfying win-win situation (exception: don’t use it on people problems).

So what could you do today to feel a bit more flowy and in resonance with yourself, no matter how counterintuitive it might seem to the rest of the world? How can the fun times become truly, authentically fun?!

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From Daily Shot of Insight, Dec 8, 2020

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