Energy shifts and waves of emotions

Could you feel a shift in your energy in the past two weeks? Around you and within? We did, for sure! A soft longing for connection with our (soul) family, more aliveness, trust and making peace with our own emotions.

Approaching the new moon in Cancer, I want to share my writings from two weeks ago, when we shifted from Gemini to Cancer Season. 

Waves of emotions

I can feel waves of emotions when it comes to the topics of dharma, vulnerability and shaky foundations.

I’ve been sensing a sadness growing inside of me, an emotion I’ve been allowing to surface in the last months to finally be felt. 

Did you read my blogpost about grief (Si apre in una nuova finestra)? I can highly recommend diving into it if you’ve been experiencing these waves (of any "uncomfortable" emotion) and you’re not quite sure where they are coming from.

So today, while I feel so deeply connected to my emotional landscape, I choose to make more space for writing, listening to music and asking myself what I need in this moment. To feel held and open and compassionate towards myself. Because in the past, I would have tried to distract myself, to push through, numb myself with watching series, sleep during the day, eat loads of chocolate, trying to figure things out which aren’t meant to be figured out but rather to be feltand allowed. I’d get annoyed with my own needy mood and spread it to everyone around me, pushing people away and confirming (more or less) unconscious beliefs like I’m too much or not good enough.

So, what do we do if we arrive (again) in a place of not knowing how to “handle” our emotions and mood? If you can’t really tell what it’s about? When you finally want to change how you react to your inner waves of emotions?

I’d say, first, ask yourself if you can love yourself for it. Say it to yourself, feel into your heart, talk to you like you would talk to a child (your inner child).

I feel sadness. I love myself for it.

It means you care. You’re alive. It means your heart is slowly being freed of all the layers of numbing, holding it together, trying to be the professional, strong, independent wo:man.

Flip it! (That’s what we say at Maitreya instead of f**k it - there’s a child around!). And it’s actually more accurate:

Claim your truth, become aware of what you don’t want. And then flip it around.

• I don’t want to hold back

• I don’t want to please other’s (ouh I’m dating again, good way to practice!)

• I don’t want to feel small

• I don’t want to feel lethargic

• I don’t want to be needy

• I don’t want to numb myself

• add yours..

What’s the opposite?

• I want to express my truth

• I want to be myself

• I want to feel free and confident

• I want to feel alive and passionate

• I want to express my needs & ask myself first, how they could be met (by myself)

• I want to allow and sit with whatever wants to be seen, invite the discomfort

• …

So I allowed myself to feel down. And slowly, after allowing these waves to flow, I can see more clearly. I notice there’s a fear connected to feeling sad. A fear of “falling back” into patterns, into a lower frequency.

But you know what (also talking to myself here), every time I allowed the sadness to be there, it taught me something. Today it’s reminding me of why I came to Maitreya, why I chose to stay:

I made space for my truth, my life. And whenever I take on too many projects, when I overcommit, prioritize other people’s needs, my emotional and physical body reminds me to slow down, to reflect and realign.

I wanted to study, write and explore new ways of living. I’m doing all of that - that’s why I felt so confused. But I’ve been also doing so much more, because I believe in our vision, I want it to thrive. And at the same time, I’ve never lived in community before, I haven’t been single for a longer time after school. It’s all new.

I have a history of doing all the things and nothing at all - or thinking I’m doing nothing because I was all over the place. Trying to do it all on my own. I’m ambitious, passionate and willing to serve and sometimes, if I don’t focus my energy, if I want to create everything at the same time, be there for friends, connect and maybe even date again, read all the books, write about my experiences, update my website, create a strategy for our projects and (self) promotion, practice ukulele, the love for my life shifts into feeling drained by my life - which is obviously not a surprise.

• So how can we be multi-passionate and feel balanced?

• How can we make space for what we want to do/ be and once and for all dissolve the belief that we should do something else first? How can your dream become your priority? Without feeling guilty or overwhelmed?

Well, this is my journey and I don’t have all the answers. But what I do know is that we all deserve to live our own truth, to experiment, feel into it, invite experiences, to slow down, to do things our own way and stop comparing ourselves with others!

Practicing openness, curiosity and becoming more compassionate with myself did a pretty good job for me!

How about you give it a try?

How?

Aligning more with nature’s rhythms allowed me to explore my own nature, my own rhythm and truth. Each season asks us to explore and reflect on a part of ourselves. It’s been such a wild and interesting journey to discover more parts of myself - and others!

This last full moon invited us to look at your foundation, strategy, focus, structureand the emotions involved, because they show us where we’re not fully believing in ourself, our gifts and dreams.

The new moon (June 6th) invites us to realize that our emotions are signposts for a more authentic life, to be vulnerable and take a leap of faith, to connect with the water element (within), to nourish trust in life and your intuition, to be creative and deeply connect with (soul) family.

So, instead of immediately running away, numbing myself or hiding, I stay, just a little longer, to feel and investigate.

I choose to speak to the things that I feel.

I express my truth, my needs and wants.

I take the time to process.

And most importantly, I’m practicing self-compassion, patience and forgiveness.

I’ve never been at this point before.

And yet, I know that I’m exactly where I need to be. It is my timeline, my life, my story.

More than ever before I’m owning my truth and loving myself so deeply that I can hold myself and am willing to ask for what I need. Not projecting my stuff on others, waiting to be seen or cared for.

I’m in love with my life, because I’m not waiting for someone else anymore. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to share my life with someone, quite the opposite! But I don’t depend on other people initiating something (I’m a Manifestor after all ;)), I’m learning to speak (and write) my dreams and projects into existence, because most of them are bigger than me, it’s not a one person adventure or vision.

It most often includes you. Because my soul wants to be of service, wants you to thrive. It comes naturally (for the Astrology nerds: my midheaven is in Virgo). And while I’m (obviously) not a fan of short writings, becoming clear on my passion and mission helped me feel more clear on what to focus my energy on:

I want to lift the frequency of the earth through nature experiences, authentic mentorship and sacred spaces that help individuals and communities grow and unfold from a place of deep listening and feeling their truth.

A nature experience: letting nature remind you of your own cycles, seasons, phases, rhythm, elements and uniqueness. 

Authentic mentorship: one on one containers for your journey back to purpose, freedom and true belonging.

Sacred spaces: ceremonies (Si apre in una nuova finestra), rituals, circles - in workshops, gatherings and retreats (Si apre in una nuova finestra)

And at Maitreya (a small community & retreat venue in Spain), I finally understood that this has to be a reality in my own life. It has to be true and present for me. I cannot serve if I’m exhausted. I don’t feel inspired if I’m not learning and allowing stillness. I can’t hold space if I can’t receive. I want ceremonies to be a weekly part of my life. I need to spend time in nature.

It needs time to listen, to feel, to be able to speak and act from your heart.

I fell in love with ceremonies and rituals for a reason. A soft rhythm to come back to the heart, to yourself. To tend to your needs, your body, heart and mind.

I didn’t start with the intention to write about ceremonies and rituals, but it’s no surprise that I ended up here - it’s such a sweet and powerful container to meet yourself where you are, to feel held and seen (by you!), to connect with people, who are probably also either struggling with balancing giving and receiving, or/and are longing for a more authentic life.

Ceremonies create a sacred space to feel into your heart, meet yourself where you are find peace and love for this moment in time.

Coming back to the initial intention to share from the heart, if you can feel the slightest impulse to share something, please connect. I'd love to know what came up for you!

Comment, send me an email (Si apre in una nuova finestra) or connect via Instagram (Si apre in una nuova finestra)!