Karen Arthur answers The Questions I Always Ask

This week, Menopause Whilst Black founder Karen Arthur shares her most significant shifts

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What has been your biggest life shift?
There isn’t just one I can mention, if I’m honest. Three things stick out. The first was choosing to end a long term abusive relationship. The second was leaving my long term teaching career and the third was selling my home and relocating to be near the sea. All of these shifts and decisions have taught me that I can do anything if I’m doing it from my heart. When my motivation is authentic and true, there isn’t a wrong move. These bold shifts also taught me to let go of all the stuff I can’t control and to trust the bigger being (call it want you want. I choose Universe). Once you’ve made the first tiny shift, the rest takes over. I’m happier and more settled than I’ve ever been in my life, even though I have little idea what’s around the corner. And that’s OK. The settled part comes from within. I am blessed and highly favoured and I will always thrive.

What do you wish someone had told you about life after 40?
I wish they’d mentioned it as a possibility. Not so much told me (because who would listen to older people anyway?). Reaching 40 wasn’t on my radar. I guess I wish they’d SHOWN me that life after 40 would be even better and more liberating. If I had seen older women, Black women like me, being vibrant and colourful and truly LIVING, I would’ve had something to work towards.

The best thing about getting older is?
Saying ‘FUCKIT’ much more and meaning it. My DGAF gene is rock solid. Boundary setting and implementation is fun too. And so rewarding. Life can become very simple because decision making boils down to, 'yes it’ll make me happy' or 'no it won’t, so I’m not'.

And the worst?
Watching people you love and care about die. That’s hard. No matter what age, they always go too early.