Celebrating Crip Time
There are these daily little frustrations, these little moments pit-a-pattering against my mind, thoughts like
why did you not just do the thing?
why were you not able to make good on your promise?
why could you not fulfill your responsibilities?
These little moments add up over the weeks, little small disappointments in myself.
But this is my body, and my body doesn’t adhere to any standard time. It is a crip time body, invisibly disabled, but disabled nonetheless.
Non-conformity is a cause for celebration — if we allow it to be. Who makes these rules that say
nine to five only
never work at midnight
never type through nights.
Accepting crip time means accepting radical freedom. Saying no to normative concepts of time.
Turning failure into potential.
I cherish this non-conforming body of mine. Others tell me it is weak and needy, it needs too much
too much sleep
too many special accommodations
but through these needs, I feel earthed, feel alive. There is joy in accommodating one’s own needs, even if it means giving up
money
capital
fame
one might have otherwise earned. I feel alive like this, in my non-conforming body, I feel well,
better than I could
if I did not have access to this other sense of time.