(Childhood) dreams and their power.

Almost one year ago, I published my first blogpost. I still enjoy coming back to this, especially now, just two weeks before Leo season.

This last new moon brought me back to the dreams I had when I was much younger. Leo New Moons are here to remind us of what matters most to our hearts. This energy takes us on a journey to the heart. Because what else can help us live a life full of joy and meaning?

Our heart knows it all. I named the second retreat like this for a reason. I somehow knew what was coming and needed. Not only for myself but the people who chose a similar road. A path of exploration, healing, re-aligning, growth and transformation.

I hope these words and stories inspire you to keep practicing, to keep opening yourself up to the idea of a heart that just knows, of the gold within you. Of infinite potential, possibilities and love.

So let me tell you about my (childhood) dreams and how they’ve inspired me over the years, again and again. Let these words take you back to your own dreams.

When I was in my 3rd school year, we’ve decided to move to Bavaria, the state of lakes and mountains. Looking back, this was our first step to living closer to nature. A courageously big decision for a Mum with two kids. We were supported by my Dad, but still.

We wanted to live on a farm, surrounded by animals and nature. That didn’t happen - instead our first apartment was right above a meat market!! We were looking for the right place for quite some time, were living with friends and camped in the area we wanted to live. We’ve built a life closer to our dreams and values but the farm and living (!) animals remained a dream.

I cannot quite tell where this dream emerged from, but if I had to guess - from deep within our hearts. Because today, living in alignment with nature and treating every living being with kindness is my highest value. I care deeply for humans, but animals? They evoke a sensation of warmness and love within my heart that is incomparable. I guess children have a similar impact, but for now, my heart belongs to animals.

This longing for being surrounded by animals took on different forms over the years. Inspired by my own brother - whom I’m forever grateful for standing in his truth so bravely and authentically - I began researching a plant based diet and stumbled over reasons to live in peaceful co-existence with animals: veganism. I know, this word can trigger SO many emotions and thoughts - bare with me. I will write more about this for sure, for today, I’ll keep it short and simple: transitioning to a plant based diet and slowly becoming aware of all the ways we harm animals for our products and consumption triggered some really confrontational and scary questions: if so much harm is being kept away from our eyes and most of what we eat isn’t as healthy as promoted nor good for our environment- what else might be wrong with our (belief) systems?

You might notice - I’m no longer willing to hold back. To keep such an important part of me in the dark.

There’s a beautiful reason and intention behind this decision: This phase of researching and questioning opened my heart. An initiation that brought me to a greater awareness of my own values, dreams and purpose. I began questioning everything. I remember how devastated, lonely and inspired I felt at the same time. So much was dying and being birthed at the same time.

And this cycle returned, over and over again, more consciously each time. This is life.

Something dies, something new begins. Oh and the void in between, the not knowing. What a ride.

Today, I’m aware of so called Archetypes that I resonate a lot with, it helps me understand what I need, where I want to focus my energy on and to make decisions.

The Activist is one of them, and obviously the Teacher. As long as I nourish these parts of myself, I feel on purpose, fulfilled and inspired. There are more though, and again, cycles and phases. We are multidimensional beings and I don’t like to put labels on ourselves or create more “I am - identifications”. And simultaneously, through discovering our Archetypes, elements, Doshas, Zodiac Signs and our human design, we get to know ourselves better. We become more curious about ourselves, the people around us, the world, and even the universe (I can’t tell you how many conversations about the universe I had with people I never thought would be even interested in planets and stars).

This can be our doorway to our own inner wisdom. Where we don’t need more qualifications, labels and external approval to feel enough, worthy and whole.

As a (Yoga) Teacher, I love all different forms of learning and teaching. Life inspires us, when we allow it to. I’ll let you know how all of this is coming together and making sense now, in a minute.

Right now, remember your dreams, look around and within and ask yourself where they inspired your life (decisions). How did they change? On purpose or because life happened? What does it take to allow yourself to dream and act on these sparks of excitement (and probably doubts)?

(You might already know this, but I’m happy to say it again: it is a process! you are not alone! I’d love to support you in this process and I’m only a message away, click here (Opens in a new window))

Let’s return to how my childhood dream shows up today - before I’ll share how beautifully (yet challenging) everything’s coming together, I want to add another one (two, actually ;)) to the story line because this forms my next phase of life: huh so exciting to share this with you!! Because you are a part of this vision and path (hello Visionary Archetype ;))

Ever since I came across the possibility to be an adventurer as a profession, I secretly wanted to become one as well. But my fears and inner critic had other plans and opinions. There have been SO many “buts” in my life that I got really sick of even using the word. So I stopped doing it and slowly but, oh and, (hehe) steadily, I shifted my thoughts and inner attitude to a more open and possibility seeking perspective. Our inner attitude really can change! I’ll be talking about this and sharing helpful practices in my autumn program (Opens in a new window) - more infos coming soon!

Adventure has many meanings and lots of different forms. I stopped comparing myself and asked myself what adventure really means to me. What does it mean to you?

For me, adventure is intertwined with a feeling of awe, peace, a challenge that helps me grow and nourishes my sense of self trust, almost always connected with time in nature or an exciting inner journey where I meet new parts of myself and discover a soft yet fierce strength deep within me.

It can really be anything!

From my own perspective, adventures are a part of daily life, we can call them micro adventures or everyday adventures. They add excitement and aliveness to our life. They take us out of our comfort zones and give us insights.

My dreams, vision and adventures are very much connected. Hiking up the Zugspitze might be a single adventure - at the same time it is a part of the life I want to live. In nature, alive, courageously, wild, yet soft and simple.

Think about it for a moment - all your experiences shape your life and create a sense of meaning and purpose - your vision or dream is not a far away imaginary life, it becomes alive in every single moment (really, take a moment, now ;))

That said, lets get to the last part.

Since being a child, I found joy in writing, I began imagining stories about my own life, which eventually caused a lot of chaos and stress within me. Without a medium (like writing) I began creating the most beautiful dreams and stories in my head. Stories about the life I wanted to live, the partner and friends I wished for and the activities and places I wanted to discover. While feeling hopeful to once be able to really live this kind of life, there was an enormous gap between the life I was living and the life I’ve created in my mind. I felt ahead of my own timeline, at the same time stuck and being left behind and too scared to do things on my own.

Until I experienced so much pain, both physically and emotionally, that I had to change something (I share a little bit about this time here: about me). Through Yoga and especially meditation, I began to understand how much pain we cause ourselves by holding on to inner stories and expectations. I experienced relief through a meditation on forgiveness like I never had before, I haven’t even known that I needed to forgive someone and myself.

What I’ve come to understand - by experience - is how powerful conscious and loving intentions can be. A couple of years ago, I finally found my way back to writing, journaling about my inner dialogues and experiences. I began writing blog posts for my newsletter, building confidence.

Writing really made all the difference. For people who experience spiraling (one thought that triggers new thoughts and emotions) it can be such a comforting tool. We kind of force ourselves to slow down (pen to paper). We get the chance to question our critical and often harsh words because writing them down creates more space. We can then choose to find kinder words and learn to comfort ourselves, to be more self-compassionate. Spirals do work the other way around. It is all about perspective and felt experiences.

So, I remember talking to my brother a couple of years ago about creating my own blog some day. That day is today. And this became my reality because all these dreams are no longer a scenario within my mind but fuel for my actions.

A transition and process that was possible only because I re-learned a lot of stuff over the years. For example: how to feel and process my emotions, use and focus my energy, take care of myself, make my own wellbeing a priority, set boundaries, do things on my own, even when it feels scary, communicate my needs and ideas, make decisions even when I feel overwhelmed of all the possibilities, stop being hyper-vigilant all the time, stop procrastinating every little task that felt a little too much, feel at home in my body and mind and a lot more.

I can’t tell how often I’ve asked myself why we don’t learn the important stuff in school.. this became the fuel for continuing, for beginning to teach and share the practices that felt so much more helpful than anything I’ve experienced before.

Through Yoga and a little later with Ayurveda and Astrology, everything made sense (okay, there is still uncertainty, yet it is part of it all).

What felt like the most unclear vision - yet knowing and trusting that everything would eventually clear up - became the most radiant and exciting inner picture and life, pulsating from my heart, I’ve ever felt and lived. And the most challenging one, too.

Because for the life of our dreams we have to face all that which is standing in the way - at one point - and not everything at once ;) And most often, these struggles happen internally.

I made it my mission to support people in these phases.

The pain we experience, when we don’t act on our inner earthquake, a moment in our life where we feel we woke up from years of living on autopilot or in a state of trance, is unbearable. We just know there’s more to life, more love, joy, freedom.

We all long for feeling understood and seen - when our inner world changes, when we start to question our choices, this time can feel disruptive, lonely and irritating. Looking back, I wish my younger self had more community to hold and support her in this phase of life.

Today, I get that I needed this experience to remember my purpose, to discover how I want to serve and contribute. And I am more than grateful, otherwise I hadn’t had the chance to be a witness to the beautiful processes and journeys of so many amazing souls.

My heart lights up every time I get to hear, see and feel a human being remembering their power, radiance and potential. We don’t have to do it all on our own. I believed I had to, for a long time.

You do have to feel your own emotions, you do have to make your own decisions. This does not mean you can’t receive support. We learn from and with each other.

Especially if you are the one who makes sure everyone feels safe and supported, you are allowed to feel held. Even by your own breath.

So, let’s round this up and let me picture you a vision, that sets my soul on fire. Farm life, adventures and writing. Do you remember the exercise in school where we were asked to create a story using three random words?

These words are definitely not random, because they are connected to so many emotions, experiences, memories and dreams.

What are your words? How are they connected? What if there was no limit to your creativity? How would you live these words? How would they come to life? If you didn’t have to know the exact path and steps just yet?

For me, today is not only the day when my blog comes to life. It is the day I choose to share my passion in a new and vulnerable way. It is the day I’m sharing a decision that took years to make.

It is the day of death and new beginnings. Every time we risk something, an old way of thinking or behaving has to die. It is painful. It is freeing like nothing else. So let’s celebrate this courage within us. The courage to be ourselves. The courage to step into the unknown.

Although I most often don’t enjoy being in the spotlight, I am more than excited to share the following with you:

After years of thinking about discovering other ways of living, I am now finally taking action. I am ready to follow my inner impulses. I don’t know how this will look like, but from what I’ve researched over the years, there are so many possibilities. My heart longs for living in nature and in community.

This might be my biggest adventure yet. I’m taking a leap of faith and will be moving out of my apartment at the end of august. From there, a dear friend of mine and I will be living in her van for a couple of weeks. Wherever we are, I’ll take every opportunity to visit places like nature communities, retreat centers and the like. I am open for projects and volunteer work. I trust that life will present us everything we need at this point of time. I trust that we will be supported and safe. I trust that this decision will open doors I’ve never imagined possible.

People do live in vans nowadays like it’s the most normal thing on earth. Digital nomads are not a rarity anymore.

But you know what? For me, it is such a big transition and decision. I’ve been playing small and safe for most of my life, yes I did travel to India for my Yoga teacher training, but in comparison to my fellow students, I always felt like I needed sooo much longer to follow my heart.

And writing? Well, I’m writing right now. And I don’t plan to stop. Because I choose to believe that these words matter. I choose to believe that someone needed this exact story to believe in themselves a little more.

I can’t tell how many books, blogs, podcasts and posts had such an important effect on me. I hope my writings will bring some light and magic into your life.

I am deeply grateful for you. I suppose we’re on a very similar path. I doesn’t matter how big or small your dreams seem to you. Comparison destroys love and joy. Stay true to yourself and let your heart guide you.

A beautiful way to live from the heart and aligned with your nature is to connect with the rhythms of nature. Nature shows us everything we need. I've found joy, rest and so much trust through my biweekly rituals (new moon and full moon). Click here (Opens in a new window) to get to my calendar. More on Rituals coming soon. 

I’m thinking of a memorable way of ending this very first blogpost and it’s creating a little bit of pressure. May this be your reminder for anything you need to hear today - what does your heart need?

What I need right now is being gentle with myself. I’ve written a whole lot and it's already good enough to be published 🙂

My last words for today: This somehow started as a little love letterto my family, animals and nature. To the energy that connects all our hearts. This is exactly how I want to end each piece of writing. With gratitude and an open heart. Thank you. For your passion, openness, kindness and interest. You are seen and loved.

Much love,

Teresa