Release and clarity come when we’re ready to surrender

I knew coming back to Germany wouldn’t be all rainbows and butterflies.

While I feel so very blessed and deeply grateful for being able to meet loved ones, host a beautiful retreat with one of my best friends, create space for reflection and long postponed dreams and learning to embrace solitude, my heart aches, longs for the life I got to experience in the last months. A life filled with connection, music, adventure, aliveness, flow, depth.

Knowing what’s possible and sitting here, feeling isolated, is such a bittersweet experience. It shows me what I want more of in my life, no matter where I am.

Because I wanted to come back, for two reasons. But let me first explain, why this painful moment has so much potential for change.

The moment we wish for other circumstances, step into dreamland, focus on what we don’t have, is the moment we give our power away, because we’re always planting seeds (I wrote a whole piece about this).

It is the moment where we can begin drawing what we long for into our lives instead of repeating the same pattern all over again. The pattern of blaming others, ourselves, distracting or numbing ourselves.

Especially in Leo Season, we get reminded to fully lean into authenticity.

And this has so many layers. Begin by asking what this means for you.

I searched for “authentic“ in my notes and one of the 60 (!) results said the following:

“For me, authenticity is not only about being honest, it’s sharing what I truly believe in and admitting that I’m learning, growing and healing, too. I haven’t figured it all out, I’m struggling in some areas of my life, too. Healing is a word that might indicate that you’re not enough, or that something isn’t right. What I mean by healing or becoming a version of yourself that feels true to you, is the process of becoming aware of your true essence, discovering your infinite worth, remembering your purpose and doing work around beliefs and unhealthy habits or patterns. Because you deserve a life that’s joyful and in alignment with your truth. I am going through this wonderful yet challenging process, too, because if I didn’t, I could’t teach authentically, which is my highest value.”

And today, I would add that it needs radical honesty, compassion and our willingness to be vulnerable.

“Radical compassion” means including the vulnerability of this life - all life - in our heart. It means having the courage to love ourselves, each other, and our world.“ - Tara Brach

Becoming radically honest is a process. I think we’ll discover new truth as long as we live. So there’s no need to rush, to push, to force honesty and clarity. It'll come. When we decide to slow down, listen, embrace silence and solitude.

And I know this might sound easier than it actually is. When we choose to meet ourselves where we actually are, it becomes more clear that memories and dreams are not our present experiences. It’s not where we live, breathe, exist, feel, are. Letting the past and future dissolve for a few moments allows us to feel how, what is present for us, in this moment. Emotions, stories, sensations.

And this is so fundamentally important. These informations inform us about our needs.

From here, we can make one little, but powerful choice. To act from what’s truly aligned with our current state, a place of love, or from the mind’s or ego’s point of view and place of fear. And this is how we take our power back.

Drop into the body and your heart. Let it inform your actions, your choices.

Let the heart lead the way.

And as this has been my intention from the moment I signed up for my first yoga training in 2019, I want to share a little more about what I’ve came to realise since I came back from Spain.

I invite you to reflect with me, I’m sharing some journaling prompts to dive into vulnerability and connect with your heart space.

A reflective story about missing friends, a broken heart, dating, depth and journaling.

I came back for two reasons.