What would you say to yourself in 2019?

Do things that light your soul on fire. Do them scared. Try watercolor, practice handlettering. Create a mess. Keep trying. Create just because. (listen to the TedX Talk by Charlie Mackesy sooner). You can stop trying to prove anything and just create.

 Go to the NF concert. You’ll have the money. And the world will shut down right after.

 Let the impulsive excitement out. Allow yourself to feel the joy when your heart smiles.

 Keep writing. Your vulnerability and reflectiveness will blow your mind in 2023 and you will be so grateful for the lines written in 2019. Write for the sake of writing. Bleed onto the page. Learn to write from a place of healing. Let the chaos out. Listen to LMM’s Moth talk sooner. 

 You have adhd (surprise!). You’ll hate it and you are allowed to feel the grief of what might have been. You learn to accept it. Work with your brain. Do things in a way that’s functional for you. Its okay. Also watch Dr. Russell Barkley sooner.

You’ll look back at 2 jobs, 2 internships, 2 apprenticeship years and ~120 orders. “You’ll struggle to find confidence and meaning in what you do. If you can get to a place of believing your encouragers, do.” – LTP

 At 23 you will relearn to find the beauty even here in the mundane. And you’ll have to. Some days its gonna be tricky. Keep going. Fill the jar. And on days you can not, pour out the jar and read the papers.

Sorry to break it to you but healing is, indeed, a journey. You won’t travel it alone. You will meet people who get you. Who like you. You’ll look back and be so proud and mind-blown at how far you have come.

Go to the dentist sooner. Ask for help sooner.

Keep searching for peace. Keep looking to where the light pours in.

“your going to go through hell. You’ll both long for a different journey and realize what yours is worth when you get the chance to help others through theirs” – LTP

Hug your family a little tighter. Ask your grandma. Visit more often. Learn from them. Learn to love them better.

There will be a lot of grey and hurt. You will live through it. You’ll continue to breathe. But most of all: feel what your heart needs to heal. And rest. Take time-outs. “be present or you’ll miss it all”.

Learn to be here. You will continue to wish for the season to pass. Appreciate where you are. You’ll look back on some jobs and yearn to work there one day more.

“you wont get to where you’re going without first learning to be here”

 Give tomorrow the chance to surprise you in a beautiful way.

 Its okay and healthy to laugh again.

be kind to future you.

listen to KC Davis book "how to keep house while drowning" sooner.

make your (mental & physical) health a priority.