On evolution, from Aries to Taurus

A reflective story for you to contemplate and feel into your own evolutionary unfolding + a practice to relax into your being, your earth body, feeling the desire to live, fully.

▹ Somatic practice at the end, behind the (pay) wall ︴there’s a free 7-day trial!

“Be in your body” was the message I got on the new moon in Aries. I know I know, we just had a new moon in Taurus and the full moon in Scorpio, but trust me, it’s all connected, and I’m a Taurus, sun and moon, so integration, embodied thinking and thoroughness are important, essential, for me. I use these words now because I judged myself enough for being slow, learning and experiencing the world differently… and I’m falling in love with this Archetype more each day, it’s like remembering all the truths my heart knew all along, they were just not part of the current culture and narrative I was growing up in.

I’m excited that you’re reading this because Taurus season is my favourite season and I can’t wait to dive into its magic with you.

The full moon in Libra, Venus retrograde and stationing direct again, letting my dreams work on me, trusting my instinctual nature and intuition more and more, a movement session embodying what was weighing me down (pleasing patterns) and what can fuel me (fierce self love) - so libra! - and experiencing a powerful imagery of being a part of the web of life all reminded me of how the threads are all coming together, into form, now - from Aries to Taurus. It’s all about evolution.

So back to the new moon message.

Be in your body. Use your hands.

I was almost disappointed as I’ve been enjoying floating in the piscean creative and meditative realms for a while, for the first time really. I didn’t really understand Pisces until this year, and I’m so grateful because it does feel like home.

There has been a lot of grief and fantasising, too, but getting to know myself through discovering the Archetype of Pisces, parts I had pushed away because they weren’t seen as productive, was waking me up to the dream I didn’t dare to dream for a long time:

A creative life. With poetry, song, dance, crafting and so much love and beauty. Imagination, flow, connection.

I believe Venus moving back and forth between Pisces and Aries was a wake up call, and I wonder how she’s been talking to you? What she’s been asking you to appreciate, own and embody through the feminine within you?

From Pisces to Aries (March 20th)

I could feel the shift in my body, in my heart. A longing to feel more alive, awake, to be moved by something. March in Granada was mostly wet and grey and as the first days of sun and warmth reminded me (and everyone here really) that life happens outside, I began to step out of my cocoon, “my” cave, almost cautious, hesitant, as I still felt a little empty, questioning more than ever who I am (as a woman), in a process of melting away the roles, identities and stories I carried for so long, informing me how to be(have), move, speak, create, live.

It’s like the Universe and every person I met immediately responded to my willingness to question and try on new dresses, hats and shoes, to experiment with a more intuitive rhythm and speaking my truth, to the extend that I felt overwhelmed at times, by openness, interest and possibilities. Life asked me to listen to my body and heart, more than ever before - when my senses said it’s enough, I went home (or pet a dog for a while), I rested, I was writing in bed when I didn’t feel like going to a Café, I danced at 6am because waking up from a dream I had to write down immediately (not to overanalyse but be moved by it).

I pulled a card on the new moon which said “waking up from slumber” and to bring into balance: exercise, movement.

I couldn’t motivate myself to start with “proper” workouts again until I experimented with dance, intuitive movement and exercises. Walking down and up again almost each and every day ~130 difference in altitude was my workout over the first weeks - maybe my calve muscles begin to grow after all.

A more intuitive approach to life

I try to approach life very differently these days.

I dance more freely and integrate movement and exercises when I have the energy, or to shift my energy, intentionally, drop into the body when my mind moves in circles.

I read when I hear a book whispering my name.

The most life changing parts: I’m asking questions and I share what I’m experiencing, what I’m curious about, what I need, even if I can’t formulate a question yet, what I feel.

Sharing is wild. It feels terribly uncomfortable and results in the most beautiful support, ideas, conversations and invitations.

It helps me speak about myself, not problems or ideas but my own inner experience which I held back for many reasons (hi inner protectors). With inner experience I mean how I actually feel, what wakes me up early in the morning, what my heart longs for and how much I miss my friends. What I’m touched, moved by, what I’m passionate about, what makes me sad or angry.

What I feel when I see or think of someone.

Let me tell you, this all felt so wrong, crazy at times, but only from the mental realm, the upper layers, the accumulated ones - deep inside, in my heart, my womb, my bones, I know this is a more human approach to life.

It’s allowing me to connect from a very different place.

To thrive.

Our soul wants to thrive, and when we listen with heart, we can feel what we need to do, or not do.

On some days, I feel like Heidi, running, dancing through the flower meadows in the mountains, screaming: “Lass uns laufen, wie wunderschön!” (Let’s run, how beautiful!) - I literally googled “Heidi Blumenwiese”. It’s a little cringy, but the amount of cringe that makes me laugh and reminds me to invite playfulness, curiosity, childlike wonder and being a bit giggly.

She’s so in awe of the animals, interestingly she doesn’t know much about animals, but she doesn’t care about asking questions, she screams at Peter for being lazy because he wants to take a nap and she wants to play (I feel him! He’s a mouth breather though).

I don’t want to watch the whole episode now but I’m sure it will inspire some more reflections 😃

The Taurus - Scorpio Axis

Aries season helped me remember that it’s totally human and so necessary to get to know ourselves.

I can proudly admit that I’m mesmerised by my own humaneness.

Both body and psyche fascinate me.

Taurus and Scorpio both remind us that experiencing our life force energy in itself is enough - actually it’s said to be a path to enlightenment.

Self - interest isn’t selfish. It helps us to be ourselves, a real human being, not an empty shell. Being in relationship, experiencing intimacy and deep connection is the theme of this season.

Feeling touched by the beauty all around us, and our own beauty.

Sensing beauty in each of our cells, like we could drink in the sweet nectar of life itself, only to remember that it’s always flowing from within our heart’s ability to transmit kindness. The love for life wants to be experienced, breathed.

Listen to this song (Opens in a new window), if you love the idea of a soundtrack to your life, romanticising life, always and forever.

Can you receive these images, sense them? Pause for a moment, look up, let your eyes rest on something colourful, simple, natural, or anything that draws your body towards it. Receive it through eyes, maybe smell? Sound? Even if there’s no hearable sound, what’s its rhythm? What if it had a sound? Could you hear it with your fingers, your heart?

And from there, bring your intention to your hands, as if you were seeing them for the first time, or if you did this exercise recently, maybe choose another part of your body. Be curious, slow, explore the colours and shapes, lines, the reflection of light on your fingernails, traces, proof of work, a tingling longing?

What if we opened up to the idea of recognising our own beauty, the beauty in both joyful and painful experiences?

What if this sense of Self (trust) can build a bridge into the depth of our being (scorpio), into both the shadow and light pulsating within us?

Full Moon in Scorpio (or about living on this axis, having planets in these signs/ houses)

This full moon in scorpio speaks the language of desire. A deep, instinctual longing to be, feel alive. It’s not the Sagittarius spirit that wants to travel, explore truth, contemplate, make adventurous (inner) experiences. It’s a more mysterious, magical, at times intense, desire to feel. Scorpio feels, deeply, but is not swept away or overwhelmed by those waves, if aware of its physical, human boundaries, remembering that water both destroys and gives life. Taurus is the container and anchor. Both are feminine signs, yin.

Beauty and magic.

Pleasure and merging.

Strong sense of worth, self, power.

How can we not get excited about those parts of us? Another season to remember that we’re more than the sum of our parts - and yet who we are becomes more tangible through discovering, embracing, remembering different parts of us.

Who wants to dance, bath in a bed of flowers? Who wants to sing to the divine, write love letters to a tree, a (imaginative) lover? Who wants to read poetry and dream of old times? And.. who needs to be met in the dark? Who needs to feel, deeply? Grief, anger, pain, so the the deep waters can clear, give rise to the light, shining from beneath it all, drops of light, being carried by the current of your blood cells, taking it where they’re most needed, by an inner intelligence, the self-organizing ability of your cells. And let’s not forget that pain contains a drop, a pearl of beauty, too. Which can only become visible when we open the locked gates to the emotional landscape within us. Remember the symbol of yin and yang? Both contain its opposing energy. I know we refer to it so often, but it’s worth letting it fully sink in. Let it become a felt, embodied truth.

The body as a portal to experience spirit, pleasure, love and beauty

Let’s return to the more practical side of this axis, a taurean lens, to remember enoughness.

I don’t know about you (I’m curious!), but certainly for me it’s true that I’ve put this insane amount of pressure on myself to be good at what I’ve learnt, meaning being able to access what I’ve learnt throughout my adolescent life (everything connected to fitness, yoga, astrology, oh and I studied social work as well) - which made me feel like I was kind of failing at life because I wasn’t using all of it.

“It didn’t pay off” - monetarily.

But what if we looked at it differently?

What we learn and experience is part of our unfolding, always.

Learning how to move, train muscles, become stronger, healthier, was something very foundational I had to learn. Tending to this first “outer”, physical, layer.

Something I believe we all need - understanding our body, and even on a much deeper level… becoming intimate with the body’s language, our organs.

What if we went on exploratory journeys through all these fascinating parts of the whole, not just memorising it to measure and compare…

Deciding to switch from fitness economics to social work was one of the decisions that changed my life in tremendous ways and awakened a fire within me that goes beyond the physical plane.

Choosing not to work as a social worker, trusting this inner longing to work and live differently took me to the edge (scorpio) and beyond of what I’ve known. I had to actively search for people I could learn from, stand in my truth no matter how often people would doubt my longing and vision.

Taurus wants us to trust our desire and needs, Scorpio adds some (needed) intensity to follow and act on our desire. Earth and water are here to teach us to be in the body and to feel, to immerse ourselves in beauty and the depth of our emotional realm. To manifest the desire, bring it into form, so we can experience it, whether it’s within our inner realm or literally translating something into form.

Longing, desire, needs - it’s a language that our heart, our senses and intuition understand because it’s deeply instinctual, it’s our busy and mostly overstimulated and analysing mind which has to remember to be present with what is, to be curious about our truth, our inner experience, that desire, needs, longing rise from within.

Yes, our heart responds. But only to what resonates, within.

Letting answers arise from within therefore is a great advice.

But what about letting life speak to you, through you? Being in relationship with life offers us the infinite potential for experiencing love. Which ultimately is always one possible answer, especially if we just don’t know. We can always return to love, home. Ask our heart, let soul speak. The spirit of a tree, an object that witnessed our path, all our phases, cycles, seasons, ups, downs, joy and sorrow - what would it/ he/ she say? What would be its message?

Connecting with the animate in everything that surrounds us helps us remember interconnectedness, and the need for support, we depend on others.

For me, the messages are often something like this: trust. You don’t need to worry.

A more intentional one that I’m weaving into the substance of my being: I am enough. I know enough. It’s okay, necessary, to don’t know.

Which brings me to what I value: deep curiosity. Compassion. Generosity. Depth. Presence. Solitude. Creativity. Slowness. And of course, beauty.

So how about you let your values arise from the depth of your longing, your heartfelt desire for aliveness? More of something.

What makes you feel alive?

Let’s circle back to the new moon messages and realisations.

Be in your body. Use your hands.

Do you remember yours?

I can almost add another one for this entire Taurus season - settle into a nomadic life.

Looking at which sign is at the cusp of the second house (Taurus) gave me this one. How, where do you settle?

I’m excited what tonight’s ceremony on this full moon will reveal, it’s a different energy, darker, more confronting, for sure.

Venus and Mars on fire

After their retrogrades, diving into the waters of Cancer and Pisces once again, they’re back in Leo and Aries. I have to write about them. They’re on their way back to where they were when I was born. It’s called a Return, or a Venus/ Mars cycle.

I learn through my own experience, I understand Astrology through my own experience, story. It’s not a mental study anymore. I feel their journeys in my own heart and body.

Like living more in alignment with nature’s cycles I find meaning and purpose in the planetary movements, their communication and relationships.

I’m not living by a script. Anything but that. I let their movements, archetypal energy and story stir up what needs to be moved, experienced and embodied.

Similar to what I shared about teaching yoga, it has become a process of dissolving the immediate “pressure” to teach, apply, serve others. And rather receive, live, play, experiment, to feel into how I weave with astrology, how it serves my own unfolding. And yet I find the greatest joy in diving into my friends` charts, just to check how they might experience this time, or see how their planetary aspects could serve as guidance, mentors, during challenging times.

Mentorship, guidance, compassion really is the essence of what I’ve been welcoming through yoga, astrology, sitting with cacao.

What would s:he tell you? Ask you? Venus, Mars, Grandmother cacao, Mother Earth, …?

My intention for Aries season, obviously, was to be in my body, more present, more curious, embody the story of my inner landscape, let the elements and symbols and dreams move me, change me.

Let my Venus in Aries bring back the fire, passion, aliveness, radiance.

Let my Mars in Leo invite me to create, be playful, have fun.

Stepping into Taurus season after some uncomfortable moments yet greatly rewarding (still sometimes painful) experiences felt like relaxing into this new way of being, a little more.

From Pisces, the unknown, the dreaming, endings, emptying.

Aries, a flicker, a fire, boldness, adventure.

To Taurus, beauty, coming into form, embodiment, just wanting to be human, the most spiritual experience, honouring our needs and living our values…

Beginning to explore Aries and Taurus more in depth, feeling and embodying their energy has stirred something delicious, wild and wonderful within me.

This journey has confirmed for me what I believe we all know deep inside: we need, deserve, to be ourselves, fully.

And whenever I feel into this truth, when I write, create with excitement, from a place of love, I can feel my body’s yes. I almost lean into my keyboard, my womb space feels alive and I know this will cause more and more ripple effects. A natural, organic unfolding.

I can recognize it in the way I write, how my dreams changed, my imagination is expanding, time feels different, I worry less, trusting the flow of my own rhythm, feeling so devoted and grateful to be alive. No forcing, no rushing. Easing, settling, into my own rhythm, allowing a soft and fluid structure to help me guide my energy, returning home, sensing my own energy, setting mental boundaries (Scorpio), not letting my energy scatter and be pulled into everyone’s life and yet being able to nourish relationships more than ever before (Libra).

Aries and Taurus tell us about our wants, needs, desires and values. In a primal and beautiful way. It’s nothing we need to be ashamed of. We are human, let’s not forget that.

While I was re-reading these words I could feel how tired I was, I recognised how the scales were a bit out of balance, solitude, rest, effortless creation and connecting, moving, stepping out of my comfort zone. Perfect balance doesn’t exist, we’re always adjusting and while the tiredness or feeling moody would have caused a downward spiral, doubts and analysing in the past, I know better now. I just tend to my needs, no questioning, trusting my body’s wisdom, the longing of my heart.

No need to prove something, to experience something different.

I am enough. I have enough.

“I want more of (this) life” is waiting for me when my energy level goes up again.

One step at a time. And not every step is visible. There are so many to take within ourselves. A step towards more compassion, self love.

Let’s make it visible by placing a hand on your heart, you belly, womb, neck.

Feel your own compassion, love.

Relax into your body, it’s our portal to experiencing life through our heart, not only the mind.

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I hope some of these thoughts, threads, contemplations stir something within you, maybe hope, desire, longing. Maybe a numbness becomes more tangible, it’s an expression of our emotional state, too. A cover, a protective layer.

May love, beauty, soften the armour.

May magic flow to the part of you that holds on, controls, and alchemise the substances it touches.

May this full moon help you transform shame into compassion, guilt into acceptance. And spend some time in the longing. Let it move you. Shake up old patterns. How have you been denying yourself what you truly long for? What your heart desires? Are you willing to see the story?

I want to close this with a poem, trying to find the rivers flowing outwards, for what I can’t possibly contain within me.

﹏

Rivers of longing

Lingering, in the longing,

just for a while, until it dissolves,

But does it ever?

It is alive, pulsates in my muscles.

Longing is not an emotion,

I remember, much to my regret.

What is its nature then?

An instinctual, human need?

A life saving, life enhancing force?

Even though it hurts?

Like a curse reminding you,

At all times, there‘s more, more, more.

Or is it actually a blessing,

an oracle, a compass,

Guiding us to a life full of love?

I lie behind closed curtains,
but there’s not enough room
for the longing in here.

I ask for its desire, its purpose.
All I hear is:

Go. Trust. Follow me.

There’s more out there.

﹏

More, in the sense of more simplicity, love, beauty.

Tune into what your heart desires

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