Things you won’t forget

The worst part about a relationship ending is slowly
realizing all the things that don’t matter anymore.
For example, all the dates- her birthday,
the day you met,
your anniversary- those are just ordinary days again.
The comfort is gone,
the routines and traditions are over,
and it makes you sick,
but to make it worse- she’s the person
you’d normally go to when you feel this uneasy,
and you don’t have anyone else
that could make it better like she would.
And weeks go by and you’re still thinking about
the fact that you know all her favourite foods
and you don’t know
how to fill that space in your brain with something else.
You keep mourning the end of you and her,
but then you realize that’s not the only thing that died,
because there’s also your five-year plan
and the inside jokes that don’t exist anymore
and the kids with your eyes and her hair who won’t ever be born,
and then it hurts all over again.

But if you’ve felt this before- or if you feel this right now.
that means you’ve been through
the same thing as I have and
so have all the other people reading this.
And I got through it,
over it, past it, happier.
Many times. And so will you.
Because the things you lose
when you lose a person are all replaceable with someone new
anniversaries, secret places, nicknames, cute jokes,
a new list of favourites to remember.
And you have no reason to think that
the next person who makes
you feel like home is going to be less special to you
then the one who just left.