Love/Lose

When something in your life hurts you,
when you get your hopes dashed
and dreams broken
and plans don’t unfold the way you imagined,
you don’t start feeling sad.
You start feeling nothing.

What happens to you in your life doesn’t hurt you
because it makes you feel bad,
it hurts you when it shuts you down.
It hurts you when you want to escape the pain so badly,
you resist loving,
you resist being,
you start to deny your joy, too.

Learning to feel again is how we start healing,
because it means that
we are no longer going to avoid experiencing
the goodness in our lives.

In the process,
we learn something important.
We realize that the faster we welcome tears
and that uncomfortable tightness in our chests,
the more quickly it passes.
We realize that, maybe,
the problem is that resisting the natural ebb
and the flow of life doesn’t make it doesn’t disappear,
but instead ensures that it stays within us.
The more it stays within us,
the more it breeds and deepens and grows,
the more it controls us,
the longer it remains.

Thinking about the past won’t change it.
Worrying about the future won’t make it better.
Resisting calmness won’t shield us from chaos.
Denying happiness won’t help us avoid pain.
You either love this moment, or you lose it.