Celebrating Crip Time

There are these daily little frustrations, these little moments pit-a-pattering against my mind, thoughts like

why did you not just do the thing?

why were you not able to make good on your promise?

why could you not fulfill your responsibilities?

These little moments add up over the weeks, little small disappointments in myself.

But this is my body, and my body doesn’t adhere to any standard time. It is a crip time body, invisibly disabled, but disabled nonetheless.

Non-conformity is a cause for celebration — if we allow it to be. Who makes these rules that say

nine to five only

never work at midnight

never type through nights.

Accepting crip time means accepting radical freedom. Saying no to normative concepts of time.

Turning failure into potential.

I cherish this non-conforming body of mine. Others tell me it is weak and needy, it needs too much

too much sleep

too many special accommodations

but through these needs, I feel earthed, feel alive. There is joy in accommodating one’s own needs, even if it means giving up

money

capital

fame

one might have otherwise earned. I feel alive like this, in my non-conforming body, I feel well,

better than I could

if I did not have access to this other sense of time.