LTW newsletter 87

Warriors!

A very merry crimble, cromble, cramble, crimble…

Whilst we attempt to de-slump from our creaking sofas and wander out of our burrows and back into the world again spare a thought for the remnants of dear of old Crimbo as LTW bring you our very own Christmas tale…

A Christmas tale

A voice sings…

’In the deep mid winter where frosty wind made moan,

The trains were all broken so no-one could get home…’ 

Can it really be only 2000 years ago when a portly gentleman all dressed in red accompanied by 12 reindeer slogged his way through the narrow back streets of Bethlehem to behold a tiny infant that was surrounded by a glowing light? 

The bearded gent pushed his braying herd into a small shed, following three wise men with their strange scents who were bearing gifts they had bought at the last minute…

Yes!

It was just over two millennia ago when such a holy scene occurred!

There was Santa himself weighed down with bags of Christmas cards and various plum puddings and an evergreen tree visiting the swaddling baby Jesus who just happened to be born on the mid winter bacchanalian festival of Saturnalia or the pagan mid winter piss up festival - how handy!

The baby Jesus sat up and anointed the grovelling red coat whilst his herd of grazing antler bearing brethren were made to wait outside braying at the pumpkin moon and nervous at the sound of the distant hunt.

Already bored of its new presents, the spoilt infant put down its iPad and switched on the TV for the ‘traditional’ king’s speech whilst throwing sprouts at the TV screen before switching channels to the James Bond movie where the ancient 106 year old special agent seeked out a villain whilst expecting Elon Musk to pop up stroking a cat. 

The holy child then ordered its cowering parents to take leave from their barely nibbled turkey and cold xmas pudding and take off their xmas hats and pullovers and take it on the hallowed fox hunt where its tiny brow could be anointed with blood taken from the terrified creature ripped apart by the hounds.  A strange yet deeply traditional much loved event that truly caught the peace and goodwill of the time of the year with bloody fingers decorating the infant brow surrounded by the baying braying aristocracy in one of those most Christmassy of Christmas spectacles.

All around was snow on snow in snow on snow on snow and snow and the Christmas markets heaved with well wishers and stout Trump like business types rubbing their hands in glee at the glowing spirituality and beauty of this time of year. The baby Jesus lit a huge cigar and kicked back in its swaddling labelled clothes and grinned ’tis the season to be merry…’ it cackled as the war movies flickered on the TV screen behind its glowing golden head….’

It’s a beautiful tale, and yet, whilst the world grinds to a halt to celebrate, we tried our best to find some musical stuff to warm our freezing mits with over the Christmas break…

Traditionally, at the end of the year, we got into our list mania and conjured up various lists to celebrate the cream of the crop from 24. 

Here we have the music books of the year - a veritable list of print about the musical stuff. Music books have certainly come on a long way since my youth when there were about 5 books about music now there are 3000 on the Beatles alone!

Here is our top 20 tracks from 2024 - a democratic list voted for by all the writers and freelancers oi the site…it’s not scientific of course but gives a rough guide to the music world - a core sample of that sprawling noisy empire from our own unique perspective.

There is also out top 100 albums of the year - how many have you heard? This list is always good in that it underlines just how strength in depth there is in music and a refute to the nay sayers who claim that music died with their own youth decades ago!

In a decidedly very xmas gig Slipknot brought their noisy pantomime to London to the O2 academy just before the Crimbo curtain was pulled down…

’Slipknot did not just take us back to 1999 – they made it feel like we never left, with a setlist that was a constant reminder of why they are still the kings of nu-metal. Charis Bagioki is in awe.’

It already feels like months but was actually two weeks since Paul McCartney brought his great display of pop perfection to the UK and we scribbled own 17 thoughts on the gig .

We love the way that Shane Macgowan has somehow become a Christmas fixture and the late iconic poet leering through the crimble break is a wonder to behold, The Sharon Shannon big band popped around the country to celebrate his song book. 

‘It might say a lot that a gang of highly respected musicians, most with a musical or familial link to Shane MacGowan are touring a homage to his life and work, but to merely call it a covers set would be to minimise both its meaning and its brilliance. It is Irish musical royalty joined by love. MK Bennett definitely does not cry at any point.’

In a lot less in the spirit of xmas those evil baddies at Spotify have been further exposed in their filthy ways. Typical of the modern world where near monopolies have us all cornered - as a listener its great as all music is at your fingertips but they seem to revel in ripping off the artists and playing stupid games instead of creating something that is to the benefit of everybody. 

We were sorry to hear of the passing of Casey Chaos the wild front man of Amen who passed away just before xmas.